Go Stanford Indians!

After my MySpace page was the victim of being littered with a photo that looks like something somewhere between the lint that gathers in your dryer and a Redwood tree with scary-big eyes, (worst unofficial mascot.. ever) I decided to check what our friend Wikipedia had to say about Leland Stanford. Interestingly enough, this page is edited and censored quite often. When checking the author edits, it seems certain pro-Stanford people keep taking down accurate and cited information about the history of the founder of Stanford University, Amasa Leland Stanford. Several graduate history students and historians have added factual information to the page, some of which continually gets edited out. These censored parts typically are quotes and writings from Stanford, which demonstrate his unfortunate disdain of Chinese immigrants, which interestingly enough, built most of his western railroad empire and certainly contributed significantly to his own wealth.

It's interesting to me that some people, likely individuals affiliated with Stanford University, feel compelled to try to erase these parts of history, in an attempt to clean the slate of the man who simply founded their university. These individuals are also the same who deleted the past Wikipedia page of the Stanford Indians page and images, thereby censoring the disturbingly insensitive past of Stanford's use of the Indians (and actually having a real Native American dance for them only 30 years ago) their only official mascot (the lint collection/tree is their unofficial mascot). Perhaps those individuals would like to repost it, as it now seems to be somehow cool to be culturally insensitive:

""In recent months, T-shirts depicting the former Indian mascot have been appearing at university functions, including the November Big Game against the University of California at Berkeley" -CBS, 2005

Amasa Leland Stanford and his university have a dark past. So what. You guys have a lovely university and you should be proud and/or accept it's history, both good and bad. Those Stanford people who are editing wikipedia to whitewash history need to think of the consequences in terms of information quality that such crass behavior creates. You should instead spend time trying to catch up with Berkeley's 20 Nobel Laureates, or learn a language and apply to some cultural programs like the Fulbright so Berkeley isn't kicking your ass every year in that department, help the adminstration work on that significant grade inflation problem, or polish up that graduate school application so Berkeley can't keep on saying, every year, that more of their students, by a landslide, go on to graduate school than any other university. Christ.. even simply going outside and throwing the football around a little so Berkeley will actually have someone to play against would be more productive.

Stop trying to change history and just accept that when you wear that red hoodie, you are wearing the name of a man who was a robber baron, a diehard Republican, and a racist.

Boom tish boom tish boom tish, baby

I put zee Germans and some American friends of mine on the VIP list at Ruby Skye where we showed SF how's it done.

Photos here

*Blanketly blank* Technology Analysts are stupid

Google Apps for Your Domain is not going to hurt Microsoft Office. At all. Yo, technology analysts... I hate to be the one to tell you, but you see Google like a teenage girl is enamered by a boy-band. Please stop.

For Christ's sakes... is ANYONE, especially a small business, seriously considering using this?!

Here's a better press release:

New York, August 28, 2006 – Intermedia.NET, the US leader in Microsoft Exchange hosting for small and medium businesses (SMBs), today praised the innovative new service, Google Apps for Your Domain. By offering 24x0 support, no wireless access and scanning of company email and documents, Google has bucked the trend of what companies expect from a business email provider. The Apps for your Domain key features:

- 24x0 support. This is important because companies for whom email and schedules are mission-critical will want to know they can pick up a phone and get support 24 hours a day, 0 days per week. Google also gives the option of filling out a support form and receiving an automated response.

- No wireless access. Where Intermedia.NET hosted Exchange gives users access to information via BlackBerry, Treo, Q or any other device, Google has bucked this trend, perhaps suggesting that wireless email is in fact a productivity-sapping distraction for employees.

- Private data read by others. Google Apps for your Desktop again bucks the trend that businesses should not allow outsiders to read their proprietary documents and email. Businesses can rest easy knowing that Google is looking at all emails and documents.

- Ads inside applications. Clearly, employees are more productive when their business applications stream ads for online poker sites and pills to combat ED.

- No uptime guarantee. Rather than a predictable 99.9% uptime guarantee, such as the one offered by Intermedia.NET, Google does not provide a set percentage of the time when email will be up and running. This keeps corporate collaboration more exciting, by allowing staff to guess whether the system will be working or not.

Italy to lead Peacekeeping in Lebanon? :-0

Wha-what?! "Italy to lead peacekeeping mission in Lebanon.."

You have to be sh*ting me. Did everyone forget the stereotypical, albeit, suspeciously accurate joke about Italians?

In heaven, the policemen are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French, the cooks are Italian, and everything is organized by the Swiss.

In hell, the policemen are German, the cooks are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and everything is organized by the Italians.

Seriously... hasn't the world already given Lebanon enough torture? And if Italian soldiers are as fragile men as their soccer players (i.e. they fall down and fake breaking their leg if you so much as touch them), then we are in a load of hurt with this decision.

Senator Palpatine...

Senator palpatine**.. I mean Senator Lieberman loses. Ha! That's one less republican in sheep's clothing we have to deal with. However... "Sen. Lieberman says he will petition his way onto November ballot..." what a horrible loser! He also blamed bloggers for hacking his site. After some fancy detective work, low and behold I got a 503 error. The 503 error is an Apache error that your server is getting too much usage. Dumb ass.

**to all those non-Star Wars fans without exact knowledge of all the fictional characters and plot developments of Star Wars episode 1-3, (but likely with normal sex lives), senator palpatine was the seemingly skillful senator who was actually the leader of the dark sith (bad guys) in disguise. nice going George Lucas... I have to hand it to you... you totally called that one.

Marriage and Rebounds

My ex-girlfriend of far too many years to count is getting married this summer, completing the typical cycle of me breaking up with a girl, and her getting married within a year or so to the next guy she finds. So far, that’s 3 for 3. Seriously, unbelievable. Hey ladies… if you want to get married, apparently you just have to date me for over a year and then piss me off and I’ll break up with you and you’ll immediately find the love of your life. 100%.

Congratulations Anna Comfort Smith of Columbus, Indiana on your upcoming marriage. Birgitte, my family, and I predicted it perfectly. You’ll never believe it, but I am very pleased that you found exactly what you were looking for so quickly. I’m so relieved. The way I see it, I did everything in the breakup perfectly and you ended up with the perfect guy. Hast du ein Glück!

On a *completely* unrelated story, Cal’s Leon Powe who lead the Pac-10 in scoring and rebounds was drafted by the Denver Nuggets on the 49^th pick. A huzzah and kudos my fellow Cal alum.

President Clark.... please!

Look... I have nothing against Hilary Clinton. I think she would make a fine president. I mean, just having someone who isn't too stupid to speak would be a nice change. But America is too conservative (especially right now) to elect a woman. Maybe she could have won during Carter's time.

That being said... my dream to win the Democratic Primaries in 2008 is (once again) General Wesley Clark. Here are my talking points. Please comment.

1) Dude is a 4-star General. You can't possibly call a 4-star General who lead NATO for five years a pussy like Republicans did against Kerry. Impossible. Imagine if he had won in 2004... how could Bush have possibly looked stronger on defense when he didn't even finish his Reserve training.

2) Smart as a motherfucka. He is fluent in four languages including Spanish and Russian. Currently, I would like to note that we have a President who isn't fluent in ANY language.

Holds an advanced degree in Economics from Oxford (yep, Rhodes scholar). (Economics, Mr. President... since I know you are an avid reader, is that class you obviously slept through. I know how many of you Americans have a frankly difficult to comprehend inclination to elect a guy who reminds you of your drunken', stoned, frat buddy who snots pretzles out of his nose, but think about the world economy. This is an important position!

I am pretty sure I know who will be the Republican candidate... and his last name is not McCain.... it's Gulianni. So we need an equally smart economics guy to face off with.

3) From the South. Like Clinton, Carter, and Johnson. Ya know.. the last three decent Democratic Presidents. Southerns will vote for their own kind... even if it means they can't marry their sister anymore.

4) Um... army votes?! Especially now that veterns and current servicemen and women have lost some faith in the Republicans after the second Iraq War... err... I mean "conflict." (We use the term conflict when we are losing, right? i.e. Vietnam Conflict.)

5) He's a dude. Yeah... I know. I would love a female leader... but Americans aren't ready... they will see Hilary debating her competition and say "she's a bitch," even if she's doing and saying exactly the same thing Wesley Clark would do. Strong women are still unfairly treated and not taken seriously in the U.S.... kind of like Austrians when they vacation in Germany or Switzerland.

6) He is the ONLY guy I know who has been Knighted (both British and Dutch) and doesn't force everyone to call him "Sir Wesley Clark." Dude's got character.

7) He has international credibility and experience. No comparison needed to any current mentally handicapped Presidents.

8) Was an Independent for most of his military career... can't call him a "liberal." Has balls too... at a GOP fundraiser in 2001, he ripped up the Bush administration and its foreign policy team, Colbert-style.

9) Ok.. Swing voter issues: He is big on environmental issues. Received the highest honor from the National Audubon Society. He is religious, but doesn't claim that God is telling him to do things or that he calls up God to ask him questions like W says. So religious people will be ok with him.

10) He's a handsome dude for an old guy. George Clooney would *have* to play him if there is ever a movie about President Clark.

Vote Clark. And you Europeans... tell Americans to vote for Clark.

ps- The latest news from Iraq has me pissing in my trousers with fear. On the other hand, I've just bought a blender for making chilled alcoholic drinks, so life is pretty good.

pps- If you are a republican and you *still* think Bush is doing a fine job, not only are you a minority in your own party, you, my friends, are a troubling, glorified herd of lemmings.

Music Voters of Europe….

You all suck.
That is all.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/5036840.stm

Even the Devil himself gets exhausted sometimes

After another productive day of scarying Americans about terrorists, telling Senators to "fuck off," exposing undercover CIA agents, and assuring the world that there is a connection between Al-Queda and Iraq, Vice President Cheney likes nothing better to do that sit down in a comfortable Oval Office chair, have a warm glass of puppy blood, and sleep through an official State visit with President Hu of China.

Seriously... you're not a part-time, evening shift junior high school janitor, Mr. Cheney. Have a fucking coffee and try to at least appear professional for Christ's sake.

The Stars. Live. In Köln.

The Stars, an great band from Canada, were fantastic in their live show last night. We had an excellent spot right in the middle of the front row, and even managed to speak with the band after the show. The violinist was cute and she seemed refreshingly shy for a performer of such notoriety.

Yep... that's all I have to say. Go read someone else's blog if you're disappointed or need more entertainment. I'm not your puppet. ;-)

Kids! Diversity is fun

(Photo credit and bravery to get so close to the damn thing goes to Birgitte.. extra credit.. guess which side is the head!)

California has incredible biodiversity, with over 500 birds, almost 200 mammals, a significant variety of girls, and over 30,000 insects (as a comparison, Germany, of nearly equal land mass, has less than 15,000). My biology professors obviously failed me because I can only think of the names of about 4... no.. wait.. ants... 5! But I do find it incredibly comforting to know that the other 29,995 are all crawling and buzzing around out there ing my beautiful state, living and cherishing their life of drugs, sex, love and laughter.

Do you think that mosquitos fall in love? I'm a romantic guy, so I'd like to think that they do. Isn't love grand?

Napoleon was afraid of cats. What a puss.

(yeah... sorry.. that's all I have to say about Napoleon... I'm not some lame French historian...)

But I do know that 200 years ago, the French population was nearly 3x the size of England's. Today England's is slightly larger. If anyone can think of a good reason for this you are automatically on my top 8 right.  I blame it on excessive cheese and truffle consumption.  Come on... dude's riding a cow in that painting for God sakes!

Fun Fact to Arthur and all of his Canadian ilk...

Canadians are refreshingly crazy people.

Yes, the U.S. is an petroluem whore, but did you know, on a per capita basis, Canada is the world's largest consumer of oats.   After an exhausting day of clubbing seals, Arthur Law and other embarrassingly proud Canadians absolutely love to unwind with a delicious half-pound (yes ladies and gentlemen...) of oats, naturally washed down with bottles of free liquid methadone from their insanely unsustainably free health care system.

Tell all your friends.

"Nothing to zee here... MOVE ALONG!!"

On our first day in Berlin, a group of Fulbrighters from all over Europe drove past something rather interesting.

The girl next to me on the bus said, "Um... why are there Nazis behind you?" with a curious smile.

I replied... "Right... like I'm going to fall for that..." Then I looked outside the window.
(Pause)
"Shit... I've seen Saving Private Ryan twice... I know what happens next. And it's not good."



---------------------------

(German officials thinking the next day..) "Ve should post signs explaining ve are only making a movie."



Other Nazi-free Berlin photos:

"Americans prefer Russia to France"

"Despite Russia's drift toward authoritarian rule, Americans feel more kindly toward that country than they do toward France, according to a poll released on Monday."

Full article

Funny. It must have been all those Clinton jokes from 1998.

Victoria, not Victorious

If only we Berkeley students could use our brilliance to benefit society. Oh well...

The Saturday's Cal men's basketball season finale versus USC had more sports drama. When USC guard Gabe Pruitt took his first trip to the free throw line early in the game, the Cal student section hollered in unison: "VIC-TOR-IA, VIC-TOR-IA," and then yelled out a telephone number and displayed it with cards. Pruitt glanced back at the crowd in horror and bewilderment before clanking his free throws.

It turns out that a couple of mischeivous Berkeley undergrads had been IM'ing with Pruitt all week under the identity of "Victoria," a fictional UCLA hottie, and Pruitt was eagerly anticipating a date with this nubile co-ed back in Westwood after the game. In preparation for the date, Pruitt had handed over his digits, which the Cal student section recited back to him in unison.

Pruitt, a 79% free throw shooter this season, missed both shots after the "VIC-TOR-IA" chants began, and hit only three out of 13 shots the whole game. Cal beat USC by 11 for the season sweep, in part due to the Berkeley students.

Awesome.

Andrea's farewell party.... bye!

We'll miss you!

IEEE 20th International Conference Advanced Information Networking and Applications

Awesome. An academic paper of mine was accepted at the IEEE 20th International Conference Advanced Information Networking and Applications. Even better, I was asked by the conference organizer to be a Chair, which seems to entitle me to a few benefits. So if anyone wants to go to an IEEE conference in Vienna, Austria in April, let me know.

Scientists say love expires after 4 years

Valentine's Day is here again and love is well and truly in the air... even in Germany! Some people celebrate with flowers while others prefer to buy a gift... but not scientists! They prefer releasing a study on how love shares similar brain chemistry to a mental disorder.

That's right.. scientists worldwide claim to have discovered the brain’s road map to love, and liken its chemical reaction to that of mental disorders. The findings say that the progression from lust to passion to attachment is controlled by brain processes every step of the way, and a romantically strong relationship has a shelf life of four years.

Soooo.... Happy, happy Valentines everyone! ;-)

ps- Next year, scientists are determined to prove that love causes cancer.

Funniest. Daily Show. Ever.

Oh sweet Jesus.... I laughed so hard, I damn near tore my kidneys. Watch or download last night's Daily Show about VP Dick Cheney's weekend hunting trip here. (It appears Mr. Cheney has upgraded his ongoing war against trial lawyers to a new level.)


Jon Stewart pointed out that Whittington was the first man since Alexander Hamliton to be shot by a sitting Vice President.

"Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? ...Mistaken for a bird."

Seriously.. why would anyone consider driving around and eventually getting out of a car to shot a wing-clipped 4 inch bird with a .22 caliber double barrel shotgun to be fun?